"We should totally have sex." -Me & Brittany
"Let's get naked and cuddle." -Me & Brittany
"Hey...you make me kinda horny. ;D" -Me & Brittany


"Wow...a shy girl...into hardcore S&M. Never thought I'd see the day..." -Dante


"I will kill you. I will snap your arm and BEAT you with it. Do you hear me?! I. WILL. KILL. YOU." -Me, Ash, & Anna


"I have ALWAYS thought of you as the coolest being to walk this planet. 'cept Jesus. 'cause Jesus is.... well, Jesus. :)" -Lorna


"Look at this. Just look at this. It is RIDICULOUS. You have like 47 pairs of shoes. You have built a great wall of shoes, and now I have to dig through this MEMORIAL of your shoes." -Nathan


"Ehhhhh...I don't wanna give a gay boy a bonerr." -Ash


"...I just entered this conversation...and I have no clue why you're crying...but...HERE'S A FISHY :D FISHIES MAKE PEOPLE HAPPY :D :D" -Ashley Bosch


"Holy fucktoast; he's hot." -Me


"Omg. Caitlin. Your boyfriend is so hot. Can I bake cookies on him?" -Caren & Tanna


"Caitlin, I want to bake bagels on you." -Caren
"I wanna toast english muffins on you." -Me


"Man, we're so fucked up. We're always toasting or baking bakery products on people. We need help." -Me


"You people are sick! BAKING COOKIES ON PEOPLE!! That'd like...burn someone!" -Tessa


"That's why we're so awesome...'cause we're so fucked up." -Dailon


"AWW :D THEY LOOK LIKE THEY HAVE SOFT BUTTS!!" -Ryan


"WHO'S THE BOSS?! WHO'S THE BOSS BITCH!? TONY DANZA IS THE FUCKIN' BOSS." -Me & Big Black


"But on the bright side...I had Reese's for
breakfast...CANDY FOR BREAKFAST?!?! NO!! REESE'S PUFF CEREAL!! :D :D :D" -Me & Nathan


"Your mom. No your mom. Your mom is my mom. And your mom is my mom." -Me & Nathan


"Or as they teach ya in preschool...'yer privates'.." -Seejayy
"HOLY CRAP! I thought you said 'yer pirates.' and I was like 'FUCK YEAH IT'S A PIRATE DOWN THERE!' :D" -Me


"Angry Pirate...if my husband does that to me..I will CHOP IT OFF. I will hobble out of the room and be like 'I HATE YOU!' I'm serious." -Ash
"I'd be pissed off if someone Tony Danza'd me..but I'm not gonna lie, I would laugh the next day." -Me


"THICK AND CHEESY BABY. THICK AND CHEESY." -Brittany


"DogSeepageVagina." -Brittany


"Yeah, Mr. Jones can suck on my dogs left testes." -Me & Brittany


"Yeah, well Professor Douchebag can go fuck a donkey. I'm sitting here today." -Me


"Dude..I hope he chokes on a horizontal chicken bone and as it perforates his esophagus and he chokes to death a midget runs up and punches him in the nuts. That is how much I hate Winemiller." -Me


"I HOPE A SMALL OVERWEIGHT CHILD BEATS YOU IN THE SHIN WITH A RATTLE!" -Autumn


"Second best :(" -Ash


"TURN AROUND BRIGHT EYES D:<" -Me & Anna


"That woman should have her colon torn out and stapled to her forehead." -Seejayy
"I hope she's sitting in the Drive-Thru at Taco John's and all of the sudden a gang of renegade chipmunks attack her and rape any hole they can find and then run away stealing her potato oles and dignity." -Me


"You make my boners get boners." -Seejayy
"You make me cream my pants without even touching me." -Me
"YOU GIVE ME SUPERGASMS!" -Seejayy
"YOU GIVE ME SUPERMEGAULTRAGASMS!" -Me
"YOU MAKE ME CREAM MAGICAL RAINBOWS!" -Seejayy
"YOU MAKE MYSTICAL CREATURES SHOOT OUT OF MY CUNT IN FITS OF JOY!" -Me


"...suck what?" -Tanna


"YOUR MOM IS DELICIOUS!" -Ali


"Yeah we're best friends! We do EVERYTHING together...except IT ;D" -Kalen


"Wanna cuddle? Keeping in mind I'm a sexist bastard..but I bet you still wanna :)" -Danny <3


"And if you're being compared to a piece of toast then you're the most amazing, glorious, wonderful, beautiful piece of toast thats ever existed." -Danny. <3


"No..you look so fucking beautiful...my heart exploded.." -Danny. <3


"We just all need to get in one big room together and we'll get CRUNK! Minus the drinking and stuff :)" -Lorna


"I GUARANTEE THAT OPENING YOUR MOUTH WILL MAKE YOUR HAND MOVE SLOWER!" -Mr.Harned


"What the fuck's up, limp dick? :D" -Me & Brittany


"You know what? I hope he's off fucking some 600 lb groupie and each tit weights like 200 lbs, and she breaks his dick off." -Brittany


"Party like it's 1985." -Anna


"Well soar-ry." -Anna


"STOP THE MADNESS!" -Anna


"Climb out little buddy!!" -Ash


"I would never really punch a baby...unless it was a kung-fu baby and it challenged me." -Ash


"Dude...I look like I just stepped out of 'Street Fighter' for the NES, where the fuck's my lead pipe? I need to bash some heads in. Jay kay." -Me


"Holy crap. Telepathy." -Me


"Now this...is a truly gay song." -Anna (on Billy Brown by Mika)


"Haha. Ghetto ringtone." -Me


"I'm always paranoid some weird old guy is going to sneak in my room at night and tickle my feet." -Anna


"We're a bruuuise. We're a bruuuise. You have a bruuuuise. :D" -Me & Anna


"SCROTUM!!" -Me & Danielle


"Man..I wish I was paralyzed...that way I'd never have to walk again." -Danielle


"Ohh..you so funny! Stop it!" -Danielle


"Jus' chilling on a home-grill, yo." -Danielle


"NOOOO!" -Danielle


"If you're not at school tomorrow...I'm going to crap a cracker, a triscut to be specific." -Ash


"When you call me 'Momma Ashley', I feel like a big black woman." -Ash


"Sounds like a baby drowning..." -Ash


":D ooh shiny nails." -Ash


"You little bitch! You better tell me! Jay kay!" -Ash


"Them must be some haaard babies...born into like robot people." -Ash


":( mm...too far." -Ash


"STOP KILLING BABIES!!" -Me


"Man...it looks like my paper has a vagina now." -Me


"Weird mental image...you...with like antlers...on a sleigh...like 'YAY SANTAA :D'..." -Ash


"Yeah...Caitlintron...I'm a transformer...beeyotch." -Me


"...HBO loves Beyonce? ..WHAT?" -Ash


"BITCH! You BETTER get back here. Or I'll strap you down to that chair and handcuff you and make you my slave!" -Ash


"No...wait let me make that HELLZ no." -Ash


"You should just like...go rent out an apartment..." -Ash


"What? 'Cause his khakis are bunching up around his butt? I just wanna grab it and unbunch..." -Ash
"Please stop talking about molesting my cousin.." -Me
"Oh Charliiiiiie, come to bed! ;D" -Ash


"YOU CARESSED MY BOOBY!" -Danielle
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to, if I had...I would've done it a lot softer...hehe." -Me
"...WHAT?!" -Danielle


"I was raised in a black neighborhood...with black friends...and a dude named DJ." -Newell


"I swear you just said 'My gum is better than your cum.'..." -Me


"You cannot have sex with a paper, Newell." -Me


"Looks like a midget nipple.." -Newell


"I don't like being fucked in the skull..." -Ashley McDaniel


"Go hump an emu up the vagina canal!" -Brittany


"Go electrocute your pubes." -Me & Brittany & Michael


"MeSoHornyMeLoveYouLongTime." -Brittany


"In my defense...'answers'...sounds a lot like 'pussy'...it's that 'sss' noise.." -Me
"So I could say 'sssskillet' and you'd get 'pusssssy'??" -Brittany


"God! What? We gonna go hump an emu now? I gotta eat! I'm hungry!" -Brittany


"FOCUS!!" -Brittany
"I SWEAR I AM GOING TO KILL YOU. I'M GONNA GO SUPER SKILLED SECRET AGENT NINJA ON YOU." -Me


"So...we're gonna take him to a movie, give him alcohol, and then I'm just gonna slam him up against the wall and do whatever I want with him :]" -Brittany

"How can you not find this funny?! He's slapping him...WITH FISH!" -Me.

"Haha...I was gonna say '..and then he whips out a big one.'.." -Danielle

"You'd better feel better soon...or I'm gonna beat the emo out of you." -Kayla

"Hey Autumn, you're missing a great conversation. We're talking about BONDAGE :D" -Me
":) Bondage? What?" -Autumn


"Did you just say your boyfriend's 'amazing crotch'?" -Autumn
"Yes. Yes I did." -Me


"THAT IS E-NOUGH." -Anna

"...why are you licking my toe?" -Me

"PEACHES AND CREAM!" -Anna

"I CAN'T HELP IT! I GOT THE BOOGIE IN ME! ITS COURSIN' THROUGH MAH VEIIINS!! :D" -Me

"STOP UPSTAGING ME D:<" -Anna

"OSHMYGOSH! SWEET BUSINESS! I FOUND A NINJA TURTLE! :D" -Me

"...what is Caitlin doing?" -Brittany
"She...is...sucking on a ninja turtle." -Ali
"WHAT? IT HAD ICING ON IT." -Me


"OMG OMG OMG..GUESS WHAT...IT'S SNOWING :D" -Me
"It's actually called Danny's cum." -Sassy


"You always say that...why would I feel better??? I care about you. If I hated you then it'd be great. But nay. I love you." -Danny <3

"I wouldn't fuck a fish...or a dork...but I would definitely go for a dorkfish :)" -Danny <3

"Now I think you're mad at me for thinking about you falling off a cliff.. But there were pillows! You were saaaaaaaafe." -Danny <3

"Oh yeah, I'm a child molester.." -Mickey
"I don't blame you...I'm an extremely sexy child." -Me


"LIKE JALEPENOS!!" -Me & Lorna


"...I likey da tater." -Me & Lorna


"FFT FFT FFT" -Me
"..that's my boobeh." -Lorna


"Swear. Swear to me. SWEAR ON YOUR SEX GLITTER!" -Lorna


"That's sad...because I call Kool-Aid my happy juice." -Lorna


"Do not tell your mom I let you watch this..." -Me


"Or however you spell the thingy in yer vagina.." -Seejayy


"Oh no. A 15 year old said a cussword. Somebody call the morality police." -Nathan


"She's not goth...she's scene...so very...very...scene..." -Nathan


"Well I don't care if you say shit...or piss, damn, fuck, or cunt." -Nathan


"I believe her. You're 15. 15 year olds act like jackasses. IT'S SCIENCE!" -Nathan


"I do not appreciate your sarcasm nor do I appreciate her slander. Seriously. I am offended." -Me


"Nah...life as a dude would be much simpler. No periods. No PMS. No boobs. You get to play with your cock. It's a win-win." -Me


"Let's go get you a big-ass tattoo right here." -Dad
"Mom would have a cow..." -Me
"Yeah...but you'd have a big-ass tattoo on the side of yer neck :D" -Dad


"God. You're just like him. You both just pass out." -Mom
"Haha. Like father like daughter, eh, kiddo?" -Dad
"I am not narcoleptic. I'm heavily medicated." -Me
"...like he said. Like father like daughter." -Mom


"You still walking around like a drunk?" -Dad
"I've had 5 of these bastards since breakfast. *staggers* What the fuck do you think?" -Me


"I think Mr.Pegg would be more pleasant...in bed that is >_> Unless it's a futon. ;O" -Brendan
"..eh?" -Me
"Futon = low lying comfy bed." -Brendan
"I know what a futon is, silly. But how does a futon make a difference between the two?" -Me
"Well the futon wouldn't break if Nick Frost got in and rocked the casbah...cos it's near the floor." -Brendan


"I just want to wrap you up in a taco shell and hug you to death. =D" -Lorna
"Why a taco shell, and aww." -Me


"If I could go back in time, I would beat down those little garden gnomes that sit on your front lawn that look like they're saying 'Come closer little boy; come closer... for I shall RAPE YOUUU!' and just change everything...." -Lorna


"Gnomes are the epitome of smallness... they steal our undies and make our genitals all cold and ripe for the plucking by blind plumb pickers :O" -Brendan


"Grr." -Andrew
"Grrrr." -Me
"RAWR!!" -Andrew
"WHY ARE WE GROWLING?!" -Me
"'Cause we're horny little rebellious bastard teens." -Andrew
"Fair enough...I'll growl to that.
ROOOOOARRR!!" -Me


"D= I don't feel good..." -Me
"Awhh. I'm sorry baby. Would smex help? XD" -Seejayy


"SEATBELTS! Ya hooligans!" -Alex


"You should treat women with RESPECT!" -Alex
"Psh, oh yeah, like you do? Grabbin' her ass.." -Chris
"...I have needs." -Alex


"SHENANIGANS!" -Me & Nic


"Ankle-spanker!" -Me & Danielle


"You? A virgin? SHENANIGANS! You're like a sex-machiiiine." -Nic


"Yum." -Nic


"Yeahh neaguhh." -Nic


"Yeah..I made a new friend..you know Daisy Duke?" -Nic


"Just chilling...listening to music...dancing...air humping..........no really...we do that shit...we have FUN" -Danielle


"ALEX SHUT THE FUCK UP." -Me


"I'm scared...hold me...D=< HOLD ME DAMN IT!!!!" -Alex


"My vag is just more magical than yers. =]" -Me


"BITCH! I love you. Shut the hell up." -Dailon


"WHAT?!?!? THAT SOUNDS CRAZY!" -Ali
"Of course it sounds crazy...
CRAZYAWESOME!" -Me


"I hope you know, when you die, I'm gonna give you a viking funeral." -Nathan
"Cool beans!! ...do you have to have a permit for that?" -Mom
"...I dunno..." -Nathan


"I just heard the sound of a belt buckle hitting the floor." -Alex
"Probably because Danielle's taking off her pants..." -Me
"Oh snap. Me too." -Alex
"Keep your pants on today Alex.." -Me
"..Okay...I'll try..." -Alex


"FUCKIN' CUUUUUUUTE." -Nic


"Mofuhckar. Neeaguhh." -Nic


"D=< dyslexic my ass. Read me a story." -Nic


"BEATIN' MY DICK LIKE IT OWES ME MONAYY $$$" -Nic


"Hey..hey..go BLOW YOUR NOSE." -Me
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" -Nic


"Why don't you just go into the kitchen and pour yourself a nice tall glass of SHUT THE HELL UP?!!" -Nic


"Edgar is bootylicious --- FACT!" -Simon Pegg & Edgar Wright


"You're not just cute, like turtle-cute, you're cute as in like attractive-cute too." -Nic


"So hey guess what...yourboyfriendisahomo." -Nic


"I'm gonna marry your mom...and then I'll be your step-dad. And you'll have to listen to everything I say, and do whatever I say, and you'll have to call me daddy. :)" -Nic
"FUCK NO. You'd be like child-molester." -Me
"Haha...yeah..." -Nic
"Wait...let's see what MOM thinks of this...Hey mom...Nic wants to marry you." -Me
"D:< HOW OLD IS THIS BOY!?" -Mom
"Sixteen." -Me
"FUCK NO. I AIN'T GOIN' TO JAIL!" -Mom


"DON'T. EAT. MY. CHEWY. SPREES." -Anna
"TURN. AROUND." -Me
"EVERY NOW AND THEN I FALL A. PART." -Anna
"TURN. AROUND. BRIGHT EYES." -Me
"IT WAS. THE. HEAT. OF THE MOMENT." -Anna


"YA DUNCE!" -Me & Anna


"Thank you for introducing me to them...my ears haven't 'gasmed this hard since...I dunno when." -Me


"Oh my freakin' God. BRITTANY. GO HOME. FINGER. AND STFU. You'll feel better. Now stop being such a horndog." -Me


"What do cramps feel like?" -Jo-el
"Like...being stabbed in your stomach/pelvis repeatedly by a midget with an extremely sharp lead spork." -Me
"Wtf?" -Jo-el
"Yeah." -Me


"You are NOT going out in yer drawhs." -Mom
"They're not drawhs. They're shorts.." -Me
"THEYS DRAWHS GIRL." -Mom
"NUHUH. ONLY ON THE WEEKENDS, ITS TUESDAY." -Me
"...you...are...just so...ugh..." -Mom
"Love you too Mommy :D" -Me


"Hahahahahhahahahahahaha." -Danielle
"..what?" -Me
"You just pulled your underwear down!" -Danielle
"..like...mooning...or like...oh shit I gotta wedgie?" -Me
"Wedgie." -Danielle
"WELL DAMN GIRL. CAN'T A WOMAN PULL HER OWN UNDERWEAR OUT HER BUTT IN PRIVACY!? I just woke up. Leave me be :(" -Me
"...no, no you can't. Get over it." -Danielle


"SHUT UP. There are old people over there. They might hobble over and tell us boring stories >.>" -Me
"Where?" -Danielle
"Over there...in the wheelchair..OH MY GOSH THERES ANOTHER ONE! OVER THERE! WITH A CAAAANE!" -Me
"AHHH. THEY HAVE CAAAAARS. OLD PEOPLE IN CAAAARS. MATCHING CARS!!!" -Danielle
"We'd better get inside. It's the end of the world." -Me


"Like when the dinosaurs invented toast, wayway back?" -Caren


"JEEZ. She's not THAT old. She may be as old as the toaster! But not TOAST!" -Caren


"No I think you should really shut up. Fo rizzle." -Caren
"Go choke on a spork and electrocute your pubes.
Kthxbai." -Me


"GET OUT OF MY KITCHEN, BOY!!" -Me
"...or what? You'll FORK me?" -Alex
"YES! I WILL JAM THIS FORK SO FAR INTO YOUR ASS CHEEK YOU SEE THE STEEL ON THE OTHER SIDE, NOW GET. OUT. DAMN IT." -Me
"OKAY. OKAY. JESUS." -Alex


"I just realized...I have a very round/plump ass." -Me
"Indeed. Quite perfect, to be frank." -Autumn
"O RLY?" -Me
"Oh indeed. If I were a man I'd so invite you to dinner and wait three months and ask you to have intercourse with me." -Autumn


"I am...Morgan Freeman. I narrate for the penguins, biatch. Fuck yeah!" -Autumn
"Lawlz. I thought you were terrified of penguins." -Me
"No. Just midgets, clowns, and Jimmy Carter." -Autumn


"You know what?" -Autumn
"What?" -Me
"If I had a penis it would be black and named Shakumar Juanackson." -Autumn
"That's beautiful right there." -Me
"I know." -Autumn


"I went to DQ!! And I saw Prange at a gas station." -Ashley
"D: Ew. And sweet action! What delicious creamy treat did you decide upon today? Or did you just get greasy 'food'?" -Me
"I was about to get the delicious creamy treat that goes by the name of 'Oreo Blizzard' but then my dad forgot about telling the lady when we got to the window and so I got a chicken strip basket." -Ashley
"I love those chicken strip baskets...the toast is like...orgasmic. XD" -Me
"...like you. ;)" -Ashley
";D Oh yeah." -Me
"But it tastes really good dipped in the gravy as well....oh oh oh OHHHHHHHH YES!!!" -Ashley
"LMAO. I love you :D" -Me
"I love you too =D" -Ashley
"And your orgasmgravytoast." -Me
"I honestly love you too!" -Ashley
"I miss you so so so so SO much!" -Me
"DITTO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And that wasn't supposed to be annoying, angry ditto, but it was supposed to be filled with passion...like my orgasmgravytoast." -Ashley
"Is that some good orgasmgravytoast?" -Me
"YES; it's ALWAYS good! yes yes YESSSSSSS oh YESSSSSSSS more gravy PLEASE!!" -Ashley
"..beg for it.." -Me
"PLEASEE gimme more GRAVYY. put your gravy on my toast! PUT YOUR GRAVY ON MY TOAST!!!!! ...too far?" -Ashley
"LOL Nooooo that was amaaazing. XD" -Me


"Aww. You should be like 'Mom if I could go back in time when you were a baby and punch you, I would.' :)" -Ashley
"More like...if I could go back in time to when you said to dad 'let's have another baby' I'd punch you in the face and scream 'NO. NO. NO. SHUT UP.' and then I'd disappear." -Me
"Nooo!!!! I'm glad they made you! That was weird...but I love you!" -Ashley


"AWWWWWWWWWWW!! I want a boyfriend who will compare me to craft items!" -Ashley
"I'm just super luckyy. :]" -Me
"Gee, thanks you little bragadoceous bragger mcbraggy pants." -Ashley


"Noo! I'd be like the Queen of Braggerland if I had a boyfriend!" -Ashley


"Is a sarong but it feels so riiiiight." -Anna


"GET AWAY FROM ME, YA BEAST!" -Me
"SHUT UP! OR I'LL GROWL!!" -Lorna
"Okay...that was the lamest comeback...EVER." -Me


"CAITLINNNNN. C'MEREEEE. I need your boobs. :]" -Kaleigh


"Turn your head and cough." -Kaleigh
"...umm. I think only guys are supposed to do that babe. There's nothin' down there..." -Me
"Oookay. puts her hands on my boobs Look at me and cough :]" -Kayleigh "Thanks Doctor Kaleigh. But isn't it malpractice to sex your patients?" -Me
"DAMN!" -Kaleigh


"That was hawttt...you're like Paul Bunyon...with girly bits." -Ashley


"TURN AROUND HERE AND LEMME GRAB DEM GRAPE TITTIES!!" -Ashley


"He looks like he's saying 'I masturbate every hour on the hour, with my RIGHT hand!!!!' XD" -Ashley


"I appreciate you letting me touch your lady parts." -Me


"Sup nigga?" -Me
"I'm sorry...I'm caucasian." -Mallory